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Sep. 27th, 2009


It's been a while

So yes, it's been quite some time. I have had some interesting developments. Most specifically, I'm going to a therapist to help me sort through some issues I have had having to do with depression and my moods. I found out I'm pretty much bi polar. So, that's always fun to deal with in your twenties.

I'm messed up beyond repair.

Oh wait, I am being repaired. It's hard not to think of it that way though. I feel I am broken and no tools were made to fix me.
This is not true. I have to remember that.

I have been on three different medications since May and I think they are starting to have full effects on me now. I am starting to feel better and more like my old self. I still have days that I feel are set backs. Most of my days are good days and I can't forget to not lose perspective on that.

I thought I was going to make this longer but talking about this mkaes me feel weird sometimes. Sigh.

Jan. 4th, 2009


regrets and good decisions

  • I am glad I finally started working at the bank
  • I regret I didn't do it sooner
  • I am glad I have health insurance
  • I am glad I bought so many woot shirts
  • I regret watching so much tv, especially instead of sleeping
  • I am proud that I started writing again
  • I am glad I started cooking and baking again
  • I regret not spending enough time with my family
  • I regret getting so frustrated with everyday situations
  • I regret spending so much time stressed out
  • I am proud for living within my means and slowly climbing my way out of debt
  • I regret getting into debt
  • I am proud for voting and making a difference in my country
  • I am proud that I am finally proud to be an American
  • I regret not working on the Obama campaign
  • I regret not reaching out when I needed help
  • I regret keeping my struggle with depression a secret
  • I am glad I saw so many good movies this year
  • I am proud that I started to communicate better with Josh
  • I am so glad that our relationship has started to grow deeper and stronger daily
  • I am glad I pretty much mastered making red velvet cake
  • I regret being vague and feigning it off as honesty
  • I regret not being able to stick with running or eating right
  • I am proud of sticking with running for as long as I did... haha
  • I regret being so jealous of people my age who are getting married
  • I don't regret reading so much celebrity gossip, it's entertaining and I like knowing what's important in the world
  • I don't regret registering to vote as a dem
  • I regret losing so many scrabble games, but I guess that's out of my control
  • i regret letting my garden die
  • I am proud of the bed Josh and I assembled from 10,000 tiny pieces
  • I am proud I didn't run away
  • I am proud I learned how to apply liquid eyeliner
  • I regret not going with my Sugar on her final journey
  • I am proud of myself, even if no one else is.

Dec. 28th, 2008



just deleted my old account. feeling good.

I'm also drunk.

Dec. 4th, 2008


I am in a foul mood and yoga did little to help. Fuck you thin people!

Nov. 27th, 2008


Picturing food is on the spotlight this week. So that means a million new people have joined, hooray! Right?

Wrong. The result is too many people joining and no one reading the rules. Put more than one picture behind a CUT!Collapse )

Nov. 9th, 2008

not at all me

I wish I had long hair
and motivation to write more
and bigger words
and less faults
I wish I was ok being myself instead of comparing myself to people I will never become.

Sep. 2nd, 2008


(no subject)

I can't even remember what I was going to say.
Loneliness is tough. Especially when I can rembmer a time when it wasn't a problem.

Aug. 21st, 2008



Hooray. In twelve hours I will be sitting on a plane on my way to a fabulous weekend in san francisco!
A whole weekend of sleeping in the safest place in the world... my baby's arms

Oh yeah.
and Radiohead
and Regina Spektor
and Jack Johnson
and Beck


Jul. 26th, 2008



I'm going to run a 27 mile marathon in January!

Mar. 25th, 2008


(no subject)



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