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Sep. 27th, 2009

type

It's been a while

So yes, it's been quite some time. I have had some interesting developments. Most specifically, I'm going to a therapist to help me sort through some issues I have had having to do with depression and my moods. I found out I'm pretty much bi polar. So, that's always fun to deal with in your twenties.

I'm messed up beyond repair.

Oh wait, I am being repaired. It's hard not to think of it that way though. I feel I am broken and no tools were made to fix me.
This is not true. I have to remember that.

I have been on three different medications since May and I think they are starting to have full effects on me now. I am starting to feel better and more like my old self. I still have days that I feel are set backs. Most of my days are good days and I can't forget to not lose perspective on that.

I thought I was going to make this longer but talking about this mkaes me feel weird sometimes. Sigh.

Jan. 4th, 2009

cheekerspie

regrets and good decisions

  • I am glad I finally started working at the bank
  • I regret I didn't do it sooner
  • I am glad I have health insurance
  • I am glad I bought so many woot shirts
  • I regret watching so much tv, especially instead of sleeping
  • I am proud that I started writing again
  • I am glad I started cooking and baking again
  • I regret not spending enough time with my family
  • I regret getting so frustrated with everyday situations
  • I regret spending so much time stressed out
  • I am proud for living within my means and slowly climbing my way out of debt
  • I regret getting into debt
  • I am proud for voting and making a difference in my country
  • I am proud that I am finally proud to be an American
  • I regret not working on the Obama campaign
  • I regret not reaching out when I needed help
  • I regret keeping my struggle with depression a secret
  • I am glad I saw so many good movies this year
  • I am proud that I started to communicate better with Josh
  • I am so glad that our relationship has started to grow deeper and stronger daily
  • I am glad I pretty much mastered making red velvet cake
  • I regret being vague and feigning it off as honesty
  • I regret not being able to stick with running or eating right
  • I am proud of sticking with running for as long as I did... haha
  • I regret being so jealous of people my age who are getting married
  • I don't regret reading so much celebrity gossip, it's entertaining and I like knowing what's important in the world
  • I don't regret registering to vote as a dem
  • I regret losing so many scrabble games, but I guess that's out of my control
  • i regret letting my garden die
  • I am proud of the bed Josh and I assembled from 10,000 tiny pieces
  • I am proud I didn't run away
  • I am proud I learned how to apply liquid eyeliner
  • I regret not going with my Sugar on her final journey
  • I am proud of myself, even if no one else is.

Dec. 28th, 2008

signature

mhm

just deleted my old account. feeling good.

I'm also drunk.

Dec. 4th, 2008

seriously.

I am in a foul mood and yoga did little to help. Fuck you thin people!

Nov. 27th, 2008

>.

Picturing food is on the spotlight this week. So that means a million new people have joined, hooray! Right?

Wrong. The result is too many people joining and no one reading the rules. Put more than one picture behind a CUT!Collapse )

Nov. 9th, 2008

not at all me

I wish I had long hair
and motivation to write more
and bigger words
and less faults
--------
I wish I was ok being myself instead of comparing myself to people I will never become.

Sep. 2nd, 2008

type

(no subject)

I can't even remember what I was going to say.
Loneliness is tough. Especially when I can rembmer a time when it wasn't a problem.

Aug. 21st, 2008

type

Frisco!!!

Hooray. In twelve hours I will be sitting on a plane on my way to a fabulous weekend in san francisco!
A whole weekend of sleeping in the safest place in the world... my baby's arms

Oh yeah.
and Radiohead
and Regina Spektor
and Jack Johnson
and Beck


!

Jul. 26th, 2008

signature

so...

I'm going to run a 27 mile marathon in January!

Mar. 25th, 2008

cheekerspie

(no subject)

tattooooooooooooo

:)

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